Single Mother Of Bipolar Disabled Children Seeks Government Grant Money

by January Comer
(Oklahoma City, OK, USA)

My name is January Comer. I have four children. A daughter, who is now 18, was diagnosed with bipolar type 1 when she was 11, but before that time had come we had great difficulty with her and her behavior problems.

I took her to several doctors. All they could say was that it was my parenting skills so I took a class on how to take care of kids since she was my second child.

My oldest daughter never had these issues. We went to doctor after doctor to be told the same thing. I was the one making her be bad.

Finally when she was 11, I found a doctor who would listen but he said not until she was 12. I was desperate. I begged him to see her. He finally agreed.

After several sessions he finally told me she was bipolar type 1. That was it. Nothing happened, no meds, no treatment.

So I left that state to seek out help for her, I uprooted my daughters to Oklahoma. It took two years to finally find a doctor who would help.

Then I found myself not working a lot due to the fact that I had to make sure that I had medical insurance for her (Medicaid).

So for years I worked very little, and we had very little, which was very hard on my family and me. We lived very humbled for a long time.

When my daughter was 15, I filed for disability. During that process, her father passed away. We had to go to Arizona for his memorial. That was a very hard time on her since her father had just came back into her life when she was 10.

We came back to Oklahoma to finish her process for disability but due to her father's death her status changed and she got survivor benefits.

When she was getting to the age of 18 they told me to come in and start paperwork on her benefits due to her 18th birthday and all would stay the same by her caseworker.

I had my daughter in her own house that she rented (well I paid the rent with her money), but when we got done with her paperwork I was told it would take up to 90 days for her to start getting her check again so in November she got her denial letter.

I talked to her doctor and he told me to get a lawyer, so I did. Well that's not going so great but in the meanwhile I have her at home with me along with her oldest sister who is 19 with a one-year-old son.

My 16-year-old daughter was recently diagnosed with bipolar and my 14-year-old son just moved here in November of 2009. Still I am unable to work a lot because I don't want to not qualify for medical.

All my children have some type of mental disorders or PTSD or something. Some are inherited or it was caused from trauma in their lives. I really don't know what to do anymore.

A few years ago my doctor told me that I was having issues with my heart. I haven't really followed up it because I am always doing something for the kids with doctor appointments or something.

My mother and I started a private pay business for elderly in our community for a reduced cost, as a way to make more money to get the things I need for the kids, but then the laws changed and now we are going through the red tape to open a sitter/companion care company for the elder.

We were told there are grants available for things like that but we haven't been able to find them. So now I have taken a part-time job that is very flexible with my situation.

I am thankful for that but it is getting harder by the day it seems. I have faith though that God will take care of all of us. It is really hard waiting and doing whatever I can just to keep my family together.

I do have a boyfriend who has been around for the past 10 years through all the good and the bad and has helped as much as he can but he has his own issues. He makes sure that all my kids know he loves them no matter what may be wrong with them. I love him a ton. There is nothing in this lifetime that I can do to ever repay him.

We live very humbly and we appreciate all that we have, but we need so much more to make it easier to live without worrying about whether or not we will have a home or food or car that works.

We struggle on a daily basis for the basics in life. I need to get all the kids new clothes, shoes, and just little things that kids want.

I'm 36 years old trying to do my best but it's not good enough. I need help from someone or somewhere. If you can help, please do. If not, direct me somewhere that might. God Bless you all. January G. Comer.