Disabled Single Mother Seeks Grant Money For Home Addition And Autistic Child
by Rhea
I've had back pain most of my life from a broken back resulting in three, soon to be four, surgeries and countless procedures. It started with hairline fractures from (they think) a motorcycle ride when I was pregnant with my first and continued to break through from having my other kids and just life until they had to rebuild my spine in 2006. Between permanent nerve damage, scar tissue, etc. I live with chronic pain every day. It's okay. You have to have a sense of humor about life and you just learn to take it one day at a time and find the joys where you can. But it has interfered with my ability to work. I tried a couple of jobs but the activity and with not being able to sit or stand for more than a few minutes at a time made me not a good and dependable employee and did further damage to my back. I applied and received SSI benefits. My youngest boy is high-functioning autistic. He is also receiving SSI benefits. He is a joy, but a challenge. He has to be partially home-schooled which adds more load to my back but I enjoy the time spent with him. One of my other sons has severe depression and is on medication and one of my daughters has a learning disability that impairs her executive functioning. I also have had severe depression my whole life. I receive food stamps and some cash assistance. My church, my mother and brother help out as much as they can but it is a strain for them. I don't receive any child support because my ex-husband refuses to work. He worked for a while but he finds it easier to just work enough to fend for himself and give us nothing. When he was working he purposely got a job where he was woefully underpaid just so he wouldn't have to give us very much. Now he works under the guise of sub-contractor so that the people or companies he works for can't garnish his wages. I have talked to the ORS and the courts and there is nothing they can really do. He doesn't live where there is an address so they can't find him to bring him back into court. It is very frustrating because whatever assistance I get the other benefits go down. I'm kept at a level below my ability to take care of my obligations without help. I don't want to be a burden on my loved ones and they won't always be there. I want to be self-sufficient. I try to be positive but it's so frustrating to be so helpless. I would work if I could but if I do then my ability to take care of my children and myself diminishes. We live in a small home in a little town in Utah. There aren't many employment opportunities, even if I could work. I have tried some in-home opportunities but again I can't be consistent. Most jobs are time sensitive and have deadlines. I usually have to sit, which I can't do for long and all that has to happen is to have my autistic child pull me the wrong way during one of his fits and I'm down for days. For me at this period in my life the only thing to do is to have my own little business selling my crafts. I sew and have an embroidery machine and do hand sewing. I do card-making and paper crafting. I paint both craft and oil. Hopefully after this next surgery I will be able to do some light woodworking. I do all kinds of craft-related things. I believe there is a program where I can have my own business and it would not affect my SSI benefits, because with all of these things I can stop and start in regard to my pain or my time spent with my autistic child and other children. I can't produce much but at least it's something. Maybe in the future as my children get older and maybe I get stronger I could do more but I have to be satisfied with what little I can do now. If I could build a large room off of the side of my house with a separate entrance then I would have a place to show my things. I also could use the room for classes. I could have scrapbooking nights for the ladies in my area with paper and scrapbooking supplies for sale. I could also have classes that I could teach on all these different skills. I've taught basic sewing and scrapbooking in the past and I could have room for more students at one time since I wouldn't be able to be dependable for lessons on a schedule. I could even rent some of the costumes I've made at Halloween time. Everything and anything. I just don't know how much I could do and how fast so that's why I'm fearful to take out a business loan to do this because I'm not sure how much money I could make, but it could at least be something and it would keep me productive. My house is small but the bedrooms are very tiny. My autistic son has to share a room with his brother. It is very difficult because it's in a small basement and my son is afraid of being underground. It sometimes takes hours to get him to go to bed. Once he is down there after his rigid routine he's okay and we've tried and are trying to make his room as pleasant as possible to alleviate his fears. The way my house is situated this room is the only room that is logical for him to be in. It's also stressful for my other son. They have a bunk bed but that takes up most of the room. I desperately wish I could build an addition that could be a large room for my business with two bedrooms and bath above so that my son could be up and away from the stress of family life when he needs to calm down. I would love to have my bedroom near him since he's afraid of being too alone. This would free me to convert my bedroom now into a sewing/craft room and get out of my 5' 7" by 10" closet that I use now. I could put a basement under the addition for storage for both family and business with a garage next to this. We live at almost 6,500 ft elevation and it would be wonderful to not have to shovel snow off my van in the winter. I have to rely on neighbors to clear it off or go without since my older children get on the bus very early in the morning to go to school. I have some equity in my home but because of my low income I don't qualify for a refinance loan. I also hate to use my equity because I may have to do a reverse mortgage to survive in my later years, but you do what you have to do. I really need to refinance because I have an owner-financed loan through an escrow company at 8% interest. If I could refinance it would literally cut my payments in half. (Although when I report that, my benefits will go down but I would still feel better about that because it would be less that my extended family needs to spend.) My family is abundantly blessed and I hate to complain. I believe in taking care of yourself and yours as much as possible. I try to serve my family, neighbors and community as much as I can. For whatever reason, I have been put in the position of needing help and I believe if we help each other we all win. This one structure could completely change my family's life. If there are any programs or grants out there that could help with any or all of this I would be greatly appreciative.
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