Disabled Army Veteran Shauna Seeks Help To Continue Alternative Career
by Shauna Berry
I joined to work as a military police officer. I left my hometown in the Virgin Islands in 2007 with all of my peers shockingly unsupportive of my decision. But I had a bigger dream. I wanted to serve my country in a time of war, and bring honor to my little island barely visible on the map. I went through a grueling 19 weeks of rigorous training, but when times we hard I remembered my peers who didn't support me, and it made me want to succeed even more. It made me want to be the best. I remember the day I got my orders sending me to Ft. Campbell, home of the 101st screaming eagles. I was so proud. I knew that in the army Ft. Campbell was one of the toughest duty stations. I wanted to hit the ground running. I was proud, and honored to be a part of one of the most well respected stations in the armed forces. Immediately upon arriving to my first company, I was sent through two more weeks of training before I was put on law enforcement duty. That was the first time that I become aware of the shocking affect of PTSD among soldiers returning from war. I felt myself slip into depression as I saw and heard of more and more domestic violence, suicides, PTSD. It seemed to me that things were out of control. I kept thinking I am 19 years old; nothing could have prepared me for what I was experiencing. Everyday I literally saw families torn further and further apart. I found myself becoming close to my co-workers who were going through the same things as I was. In the beginning I was alarmed by how many spouses were being arrested, or causing disturbances. As time passed and the war in Iraq and Afghanistan continued to rage on I found myself dealing with a countless number of juveniles of all ages. Suddenly our military police force seemed outnumbered by the amount of crimes that were occurring on a daily basis. On any given day it would range from rapes to domestic violence, and juvenile gangs to shoplifting. I realized that the children of deployed soldiers were being raised in virtually single parent homes from the constant re-deployments. I couldn't make sense of it all. Thirteen years later I wonder how it will all turn out down the road. The army has created so many outlets for soldiers, spouses, and children to use for counseling, therapy, and anything else they will need to get them through a deployment. But I often wonder, is it too late? Are we trying to rescue spouses, soldiers, and children after the damage has been done? How will we fix this? I realized with age and maturity there are so many things that I cannot change. This was such a life altering realization for me. I found myself wondering what makes me happy. I got injured during training operations before my deployment to Iraq. I had to watch my peers whom I had come to love go without me. It was the hardest experience of my life. It was as if I had to sit on the sidelines of the super bowl and not be able to play. During my countless physical therapy sessions and doctor appointments I spent my time writing and taking time to see all the little things that my life and schedule didn't allow me. I read books, began cooking, writing to my friends in Iraq and most importantly writing to myself. Several months later my doctors told me that I could no longer physically do my job in the military due to my injury. They found my injury to be irreversible therefore making me 22 years old and disabled by military standards. I had no intention of leaving the military. With my entire career that I had carefully planned out for myself suddenly no longer a reality, I found myself sitting in a public library on the army base writing this essay. I was thinking to myself; I made it this far. What's next? I would never regret joining the army because it changed me in so many ways and I do often wonder what my life would have been like if I never got injured. I sit here armed with my determination. As I flip to the next chapters of my life, I look back with fond memories of myself being all that I could be and look forward with confidence.
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