45 Year Old Bipolar Disabled Woman Seeks Grants For Online Education
by Wendy
The majority of my family is riddled with mental illness, from mild to severe. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder Type II, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia and ADHD. I currently receive SSDI payments and am considered permanently disabled. I have had difficulties with depression, self-mutilation and eating disorders since I was in elementary school. I never received treatment at the time because my mother was mentally ill. She was diagnosed with Schizophrenia and hospitalized for the first time when I was in third grade. Until I was in my early twenties, I thought that everyone felt and did the same things that I did. I was seeing a therapist at the time that showed me the light, so to speak. I started on some medications, but gave up on them quickly. I didn't go back on medication until my thirties. My primary care physician tried many combinations of medications, to no avail. He finally recommended that I see a psychiatrist in 2004. I continued with that psychiatrist until he retired in 2009. He tried an array of medication combinations that didn't work. The one medication that did help had too many severe side effects. My psychiatrist suggested ECT, but I was unwilling to undergo that type of treatment. I found a new psychiatrist and he kept my medication the same and added different medications now and then. Nothing has really worked that well, so he suggested ECT, also. I am considering that type of therapy at the present time. My depression, anxiety and agoraphobia go through different stages. There are times that I can go out of the house without fear and panic. There are also times that I will stay in my room, lie in bed and stare at the walls. I am too overcome by anxiety to get out of bed or my room. It has been determined that I am permanently disabled. I would like to get a degree and be able to work at home or part-time, as my illness allows. Being on SSDI I cannot afford tuition costs. Basically I'm looking for grants for online education. My husband has been on disability for two years and just went back to work. Our income was so low that we lost our house to foreclosure and we are ready to file bankruptcy. I have on adult child in college and one that may start next year, providing we can get assistance. I held a job from 1999-2004, until it became too difficult and my illness started progressing. I have been on CA State Disability and SSDI since 2004. I have made efforts to start my own business several times, but the attempts have failed. I am currently looking for a work at home job to bring in some extra income. I am applying for grants for online education, scholarships, etc. to fund my tuition costs. My Agoraphobia limits my education to online schools.
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